Diana: The Musical

You would think there would be nothing left to say about Diana, Princess of Wales, and this by-the-numbers musical doesn’t offer us anything new. It simply rehashes what we already know: she was a shy 18-year-old nursery teacher’s assistant when she met Charles, although they married quickly and had two sons, he did not end his affair with Camilla, Diana became lonely and a committed humanitarian, a fashion icon, and died a prematurely young death at 36 in a Parisian tunnel being pursued by paparazzi.

This is all played out on a constantly bare stage with a minimum of sets. William Ivey Long recreates dozens of her iconic outfits and they are possibly one of the few reasons to keep watching.

Written by composer/lyricist (and Bon Jovi keyboardist) David Bryan, and writing partner Joe DiPietro, who are famed for the hit show Memphis, and directed by Christopher Ashley who has a Tony for Come From Away, the show stars British-born Jeanna de Waal as Diana, Erin Davies as Camilla, Roe Hartrampf as Charles and Broadway veteran Judy Kaye, doing double duty, as the Queen and Diana’s step-grandmother, romantic novelist Barbara Cartland.

The cast work wonders on this shallow treatment of the royals, which comes across as bathetic and vulgar. The score of generic pop (which Bryan knows something about) and the lyrics are jaw-droppingly crass. When Diana gives birth to William, Charles sings: ‘Darling, I’m holding our son/So let me say jolly well done!’ At a pompous and stuffy cello recital by Mstislav Rostropovich, De Waal has to embarrassingly warble: ‘The Russian plays on and on/Like an endless Telethon/How I wish he were Elton John!’ And it doesn’t get much better for poor Judy Kaye, who as the Queen demands her son and daughter-in-law mend their marriage: ‘Never let any feelings intrude/So go with Windsor fortitude!’

The cast, despite the script, battle gamely, with de Waal bringing a semblance of humility to her role. Roe Hartrampf’s Prince is played as a pompous prig (how often have we seen this version of Charles), but Erin Davies’ Camilla has bite and a strong clear singing voice. One number, “Snap, Click’ has a swarm of paparazzi in fedora hats and raincoats, surrounding her with flash-bulbs going off. It’s so anachronistic it’s laughable, and seems like it jumped out of a 50s Mickey Spillane novel.

Devoid of humor, except for Judy Kaye’s chiffon-clad Barbara Cartland, at times it feels like we’re wading through a pile of Windsor Castle farmyard sludge. Watch it at your peril! It opens on Broadway next month.

Peter Pinne 

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