CRAIG HILL: A Cure for Homophobia.

“When I first started performing I used to just wear jeans and a tee-shirt – that’s really the standard uniform for stand-up. But there was always some bruiser in the audience, out to impress his mates, who would yell out “Poofter” or “Queer” as if he was so clever and had just discovered my secret. Well, it was never a secret, and I didn’t want to give them space by saying “you think?” so I decided to wear the Kilt – a white kilt, sort of bride-like, but without the flowers.  After all, if you’re gay and wearing a skirt…where’s the secret?”

Well, the only secret may be what comic Craig Hill wears under that kilt, but truly - who cares? We’re in the lounge-like foyer of Chapel off Chapel and Craig has just finished a blistering opening night set for The Melbourne Comedy Festival. He’s rapidly becoming one of our favourite adopted sons. “I love the way you Aussies use language” he says:- “Incorrectly.” He’s still on a high from the set – that incredible buzz you get when you own the audience and you could recite the phone book and they’d still laugh. After regaling me with a great impression of Shirley Bassey singing the Collingwood Football Club song, he agrees to chat over a glass of white wine “anything but Chardonnay”.

For a boy growing up in Kilbride, just south-east of Glasgow, show business wasn’t an obvious choice for Craig. “There are quite a few well known talents that come from Kilbride, but I wouldn’t claim to be in their league.” He’s talking about bands like The Pearlfishers, who made their records in the East Kilbride Arts Centre; or Iain Harvie, guitarist for Del Amitri; plus more than a fair share of actors and television presenters and sportsman – but there’s only one comedian, and that’s Craig.

“To tell you the truth, I didn’t know what stand-up comedy was exactly.” He tells me modestly. “Oh I knew about comedies on the telly – y’know, sitcoms. And I had seen people doing impersonations of stars, so that’s where I started…I actually won a talent contest when I was ten impersonating Cleo Laine. What on earth was I thinking? I’d heard of Billy Connolly but I’d never seen him, didn’t know exactly what he did when I was growing up, which was probably just as well or I might have given up before I got started.”

In a working class family with five butch brothers, “coming out” was not the easiest thing to do. “It wasn’t so much that I had an epiphany and realised I was gay, as realising that the rest of the family wasn’t! So when I finally fronted my brothers and said “I’ve got a surprise – I’m gay.” They just grinned and said “We’ve got a surprise – we KNOW!”

It was obvious from his precocious pre-teen years that Craig needed an audience, preferably a captive one, so it was a logical step to train as a hairdresser. The ladies loved him. “I just had to remember not to leave the perming solution on too long” he quips. “But they were the first people to actually laugh at me. It was a tremendously warm feeling.” Looking for a bigger audience, Craig moved to Edinburgh to study acting. With a natural ability to improvise, and a good singing voice, he was a perfect fit for Theatre in Education and Pantomimes; but over time rehearsals got funnier and more of the performances were improvised. Friends told him he should try doing stand-up, but the idea terrified him. “Me, alone on a stage, without any cast for support? I’d have to be out of my tiny mind.” And he might never have had the courage, had a friend not secretly booked him in for an “open spot” at a comedy festival. “I thought we were going to see someone else” he confesses, and is sheepish as he relates how he had to be literally pushed onto the stage he was so scared.

But there was that instant connection which is the drug for all comics, and Craig was hooked. The rest is Hill-story. He’s been a fixture at the Edinburgh Festival for the last fourteen years and spends the rest of the year travelling the world. “The language may be different, and the timing, but mostly comedy is the same everywhere. To tell the truth, it’s just about life, and life can be bloody funny. It’d be really depressing if you couldn’t find something to laugh at.” It’s the frenetic energy, and irreverent joy he has for life,that makes his shows a must-see.

Craig’s new show Blown By A Fan plays at The Factory Theatre, Marrickville as part of the Sydney Comedy Festival from April 25 – 29. Enjoy the campery. And if you don’t laugh you may well be homophobic… but it’s more likely you’re already dead.