A Writer's Tale from Isolation

Simon Denver, the writer of Man of Steel and many other musicals and plays, is poised to write  a new masterpiece - as soon as he finishes a few errands.

I presume that a couple of weeks ago my fellow creative writers embraced the idea of some form of isolation/ lockdown as a godsend. I also presume that most of my fellow creative writers realised that this was the time to create their opus, their masterpiece, their finest work.

(Of course, this does not apply to the composers for musicals. They already live a solitary life, shunned by most of society. They probably don't even realise there are lockdowns happening and are wondering about this new fashion trend of wearing face masks). 

I also presume that most of my fellow creative writers have since procrastinated for four or five weeks and although their masterpiece hasn't even been started, they have caught up on all correspondence and paperwork dating back to the early 2000's. They have cleaned everything in their writer's garrets that could possibly be cleaned. Some of them might even have mastered the use of a vacuum cleaner. All those little "Get round to it one day" jobs have been done.

So, what now?

With every possible task completed, we have no other excuses. It is time to create our masterpieces. But can we? Please spare a thought for many writers world-wide who will struggle over the next few months with the new dominant paradigms.

For it is indeed a brave new world for us writers. Some will discover that they can write without an Arts Grant. Unfortunately, some won't.

Some will discover that they can write without a deadline. Some won't.

And some will discover they can write without any input from arts workers. Not many, but some.

These could prove to be painful lessons. There will be casualties. Already there are rumours of a second-hand arts grant trade on Gumtree. Social media is full of horrific tales of bogus deadlines being circulated. Most sinister of all are the reports of a new telephone scam. People cold-calling and posing as arts workers who, for a "small fee", will guide you with your creative process (luckily most writers don't actually have any money so now the telephone scam people have their eyes set on theatre curtain technicians. Good luck there...)

But to those of us who survive this culling, we will eventually write. And I do believe that we will produce an outpouring of brilliant scripts. This pandemic is by far the most important, far reaching incident of modern times. It will fundamentally change how we live and govern ourselves. We are witnessing history. Major history. Stop cleaning and answering emails from 2013 - start writing! 

So, my prediction: In nine months' time there will be a spike in births ... and a spike in masterpieces.

Simon Denver's plays and musicals are represented by Maverick Musicals.